Bessie's Greatest Gifts

This is sophies second birfday with our family. she is in the mittle with rays sister and that is ray wit the beer and the sexy open shirt. the little girl to left of sophie is my half sister. shes a bitch. we dont talk to her cuz she still wears diapers. tata diary,.

Well well my chilren. Its been about two yeers and i havent gotin a chance to post because i been battlin the lookemia. Well not me but my babys sophia. Member how I tole you we flushes him out wit a hoes? well it turns out my babys has the lookemia and has to has chemo. My babys is doin fine now., we is stayin in a new trailer park over in louisiana. Its so nice lordy with a walmart nextr dooer and it has a playin ground for us to play with the babys. Ray lkes the slide. sometimes we kint git him off of that so we can make pumpy. sometimes i just leave little sophia over at the park so ray and i can have some alone time ifs ya know what is  that i mean. after we done we go an get the babys so we can go shoping at the walmart and get us flip flops. now you know world that bein a southern lady is differnt than liven in the north but me and Ray have finally decided to have my tubes tied. I figgered that with Sophie and my old age. a lady never tellls her age or weight or sexuel prefrence but that it would be best specially with the sickness on Sophia. We just woke up one day and my little babys had spots all over and thats when we knew she caught the lookeemeah. oh lordy i was so upset that i took the baby sophia and ran seventeen miles to the doktor and we started treatment as soon as Ray got his inhaler.

Its been a rough yeer. wit the resession and all of the stuff wit the stock markit and everyting we have been livin on the welfare. I used to feel sorry for people who coulnt afford it but this is bad lordy. Ray and i have been eating well but we had to start feedin sophie dog food. and we had to eat my poors gator baby bill. instead of turkey, we had gator. lordy bill tasted good but i shed teers when i realized that ray had tuh feed me my gator so thats we could have a thanksgivin. sophie had beef jerkys becuz she is a baby and babys cant have gator. We has been makin some changes for the resession and i have been workin at the new walmart only part time now. I switch to doin full deli now and not just cakes. instead of slicin the meat i weigh it too. lordy i send my blessins to those over sees. i feel real bad but with our upcoming vacation i try not tah think of others much. we are goin to visit my mother in law next week with sophies so i will try to write again before im leave.

Goodnight yall and god bless everyone who cant affordy it or who caught the looky or who is just lackin a good pumpy.;

with love,

Bessie J. Taylor-Gizzord

Labels: alligator, baby, bessie, cancer, gizzard, jean, ray, sex, south, taylor, trailer, walmart

ISNT SOPHIA REALLY CUTE!! HE IS SUCH A SWEETY!

o my goonees. is bin a long time sinc i done written somethin in here. lots has happened. i had ma babys. hes a boy and his name sophia. sophia ann taylor-gizzard. he a sweetie. hes borned on the 1 of novimbr. he has a prolem with his bowils. he cant poop so once a week we flush him out with the hose. he all clean wen is done. is nice cus it takes me halve the time to change his dipey. i mean who wouldnt want that? i kno i wants it. ray and me been pumpin for da last weeks since sophias been born. i think i might be preggie again. cuz im threwing up a lot. but i losted about 35 punds. i will send pickter when i gets one. we cants affod a new camera right now cuz of the dipey costs. i mean they wants 3 dollers for a pack of 36. where do peple get that money? ma cameria broke when i sits on it . bye bye kodak. but i haves one baby picture of sophia. will post it ina sek. i have to go wash sophias rectum. back later

gobbless amerika and happy turkey eatin.

Bessie J

dear diary,

i haven not posted in my diary for almost 4 months. iths has been the hardest thing to have ever had to do. see,. the fing is that my computir broked down for 3 months and them we took it to the new bestesst buy where they have that freak squadd or sumthin like that an they took my baby to the countir and fix him up good. then me and Ray went on vakation to oklahomma. to visit some related people. we visted his cusins and his aunts and stuff, showed them some piktures of our weding. it was fun. we went fishin an we went shoppin and i bought the darnedst yard decoratons. they are a little boy and girl holdin hands and then i got a lady bent over so you can see her blloomers. they are adorable.

i am still workin at the Walmart. but i am only part time because i am a expectin' woman. tahts write! wes gonna have a babys! her name is gon be Sophia (but Soph or sophie for short) Ann Taylor-Gizzard. ( dont ferget the hyphen now.) now i gots promed to the head deli woman at the walmart. i am finally makin the big bucks. Ray has taken a job at the modernistick (is that spelled right?) carpet cleanerss. he makes enougj to buy a big screen! we have a big screen tv! ok. diary, i promise to wrrit tomorrow or the next day or maube the next. oh and me and ray made pumpy 80 bazilion times the last months, but docktors say wes gonna have to stop cus we are givin the babys brain damage.

Love and Godbless the viktims of drought in Californey.

Bessie Jean Taylor-Gizzard

dear diary,

i am depresed, i have not talked to finklecakes for almost 2weeks now, and i miss him. i ate a entire pizza, a rosted chiken, a box of cheesenips, a box of twinkiesa, a pot of coffee, 3 bags of popcorn, 6 donuts, a nd 2 sheet cakes today. we had some good conversations and i think he is such a nice fella. if we lived close, i think i would envite him over for afternoon tea, and we'd look at my spoon collektion. but, nevermind baout that. i am so tire d from my jobby at tne walymart, taht i been to tirred to pumpy wiht ray. i miss that too. he is on a biznes trip, cuz he got a job att the feed factery, and he shovels feed into bags, they sen him to a feed convention, i am so proud of him. ill just have to wait til he gets homw.

I send love to finklecakes. (friendly love)

night nigh,

bessie jean

this will be teh most awfuel jurnel that i hav ever rote. me an ray was at winnies hous haavin thanxgivin turkey helper when all ofa sudin, winifred pulled out a spoon that has bin stolin from my spoon collekchion. it was my favy lost spoon! an she was scoopin cranberrie corn with it! i hulred her akros the table and waled her eyeball and she has a shiner and a broked nose.i grabbed my poon and mhy turkey helper bak and grabed ray and me and ray went home and pumped 7 times til we was sor. an i think i am preggy. ima be a momma! AND RAY A DADDA! we is gona be teh best parents in da double wide pawk! dahs about it. i wills send moah jiggy cuffs and spreaders. lov all!

Bessie

Dear Diary,

today me anr ray skipped work so we could go to a spoon collecktinion conference were we bought a new spoon! i tell you diary it is the most beautifullest spoon i own, even better than that prize spoon winifred stoles. it is from new jersey and it is silver and gold and it is so beautiful. we also went to the prayer tent and prayed for poor peoples who cant afford it. i feel so bad that they cannt afford it, i can affford a doublewide though. i am so exited. i cant find anymore chia pets on cclearence, but i will keep looking, and i will send a another winter coat, and i wil send some canned spinach abnd some canned corn and maybe if i get lucky i will send some jiggy cuffs, because even poor poeple could not afford jiggy cuffs, and every poor maid should have a set of jiggy cufss to hog tie her man down to the bedpost and make jiggy with him, and i feel even though they cant afford it that they should try to afford it anyways, and i will send more chia pets. so i gots to go, we is leaving now. i love you ray and bill,

Bessie Jean


p.s. i will send my left over gator meat to the poor people who cant afford it. they deserve thanksgiving tooo.

Dear Diary,

Tosay was my first day as a deli manager at the Walymart. i sold hams and turkeys and also potatoe salad. lordy i got so hungry that i almost ate it all. Ray stoopped in to bring me lunch, and we made jiggy in his pick-up truck. i was so proud i fergot to eat my lunch, so ray had to bring it back, to me and i was a little embarassed becasue the girls thought i was eating lunch all that time, and i really wasnt, so they spect i was doing something else. but i also stocked the bread shelvces and lerned to make a sheet cake with a "happy birfday to john" on it, or whateveer name you want. i was so exited, and because bills birfday is next wensday, i am going to bake him a sheet cake with "happy birfday bill" on it, i am so exited. ray will be so proud. working at the Walymart is really nice because i get to socialize with the other people and be around food all day, and i even get a 15% discount. i am going straight to the cracker eyell and getting some cheese nips, bceause those are my favvy! well diary, ray and i keep pumping but theres no sign of a baby, and lordy help us create a babys, we need one because my momma sayts shes not goin to the good lord without a grandchillun. oh and lord, i did a good deed today, besides doin the deed this morning with ray, i donated to poor people, theres a box in Walymart for rich people to donate to poor people and i donated some doughnots, a winter coat, and a chia pet. i hope thats enough, i really hope so. i feel bad for all the people who aren;t rich enough to own a double wide like me and ray are gona bye. anyway, i gotta go, im going to the jiggy shop to buys some handcuffs to spice up me and rays lovelife. not that it aint spicy enough...

Love and wishes,

God bless all poor people,. its not their fault they cant afford it. I will send more chia pets.

Bessie J

Dear Diary,

Today i got my ged becuz i pased my test in fake high school. a ged is a diploma, but Winifred called it a good enough diploma, shes all show offey because she got her diploma on the first try. she said i was dumb, so i hit her right on the face and gave her a beuty of a shiner. her eye is so swelled up she cant open it. ray is so proud. i am so glad tha i did that, bnut now shes thretnin me with assaulty and i dont wanna go to no prison, then i wont beable to have pumpy with ray. oh diary i dont know what to do. i think ill make her a cake. a bunt cake. anyways, today after i got my ged i went to walymart for my interveiw. and guess what diary??? I GOTS THE JOB! i am so exited. i am now the new "Deli Mangaer" and i get to wear a hairnet and everything. I even get to wear a little blue apron and i bought me some black ortrapediac shoes so i dont get no corns on my feetsies. i get 9 dollers a hour and ray says we might beable to buy a doublewide! just think diary, a big doublewide for me and ray and our posible baby. so spacous i can hardley stand it. i love you ray. i want to spend the entire night with you tonight just the too of us together betwen our new sheets. it gona be awesome.. im going to pump away. thisll be lucky number 7 this wekend. i love you ray, i love you cuddle umpkins. I LOVE YOU RAY GIZZARD! I LOVE YOU!

well diarym i am gona spend a night to remember with my hubby,

night night, and may jesus save yer soul,

-Bessie Jean

and Bill

Dear Diary,

Haloween was the best haloween i ever been to. Ray and me went to Winfred's party, and we made jiggy in her bathroom while she got drunk. it was the best party i ever been to. my costume was pirfect. i looked like a hunnerd millon bucks in it. ray just wanted to jump my bones as soon as he saw mme in it, i was a sex maching i tell you, it was amazing and i think it was the best time ever. and guess what diary? me and ray are gona go on one of those new fangled mini breaks. the humdinger who sold us plane tickets was another amish man, cuz he has one of them berds that goes to his shouldres, and he said his parents own a farm, so i bet hes one of those guys who dress in all black and stuff. you know, amish people are really an intresting peoples. they build stuff, and make pie, and have berds. I think being amish would be kinda homely. but i wouldnt give up my new martha stewart sheets, they atre the best. ray and me soiled them so many times, and im so proud. my mom says we better make her a chillun, because she wants a grandchild so bad, so me and ray are gona work on it. he says we should have high hopes. we already made jiggy 24 times in the last week. WE"RE GONNA GHAVE A BABIES! I cant wait. im gona name it Bunny Jean for a girls, or Harold (harry for short) Ray for a boys. I am so exited. Well i gota go, i got a bunt cake in the oven.



Love and Hugs and Kisses!

XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOOXX

Bessie Jean Taylor-Gizzard

Dear Diary,

today i took a woman trip to walmar t to discover if i was preggy or not. i bought one of them ept ma bobs and took a wee on the little spoon. i put the spoon in the cardboard tube and it turned black, the box didnt sya anything about turning black, so i figgerd that i wasnt preggy. that was a big releif, now i dont havet o worry about names or anyting. but i was kinda looking forwerd to it. though. ray and me are goin' t'celebrate by havin' mo'e sweaty jiggy tonight. i am so exited. i cant wait to crawl beneath my expensiv martha stuart sheets and have a good old time with mah husband.

also today, i had to buy some milk, and a shock coller for bill. he is getting out od control, i dont know whats wrong with him. the past weke has been like hades, and dont teh lord know it. on mondye, he pessed on Luanne Jaffrey's flours, and on tuesdae he laid a big gator chocolate on my lawn. he also chewed off the cord on my here salad shooter, i gave him a big gator spankin and sent him to his corner. then he threw up the wires and outlets. bill is gettin out of hand.

well diary, ray's home from the bar, and its jiggy time.

night night, and lord be with you,

love

Bessie Jean Taylor-Gizzard

Dear Diary,

I am so scared, me and ray made jiggy 37 times last week, and now i missed my woman week. i think maybe im pregnent. ray says it would be awesome for us to have a baby, but i dont think im ready, that measns changing diapers and snot rags, and onesies,a nd i dont wanna compet for atention. But if we have a baby, i think it might be nice on the other hand, i get to raise it , and well have a beautful child. with my good looks, and ray's iq, its gonna be a good baby. i really like the names Trilby, Sophie, Americus (from were the heart is), Bunny, and Brandie for a girl, and Edwin, Harry, and Artie, and Wylie for a boy. I'm rally fond of Harry, my grandpa s name is Harry and i think that would fit perfgect ly
Harold (Harry) Ray Taylor-Gizzard The ray is from ray;s first name, i think the sun is supposed to have the fathers middle name says winifred anyway, she suggested for a boy-Bernie and for a girl-Betty hmm... Betty Jean Taylor-Gizzard i dont like it as much as Trilby or Brandie, Bunny is good too. well. i gotta go, i got to clean the trailer and sort rays dong holders, i can remember what you call them, he wears them with a dong cup for baseball, anyway, love abnd god bless you all

may jesus save you,

Bessie Jean Taylor-Gizzard


P.S. Halloween is soon, and ray's going as Dale Earnhardt Jr. and im gonna be a FRENCH MAID! Im so exited, i bought my costume online!
http://www.halloweenmart.com/wecs.php?store=halloweenmar&action=display&target=CQ458

love BJTG

Dear Blog Diary,

Todya i went to walmart to do our first shoping trip with ray and we bought evrything a maried couple could ever want for a home. we bought new kitchen aplliances and ray bought me a salad shooter! just think, i can shred anyhing into dinner pieces and we can even shred ham we also bought a new Microwave and a blender. now we can have margaritas til the sun goes down. we also bought a lugage set, and now the lord knows that nothin says true love like a couple with a expensive luggage set, it was even martha stuart brand! it was blue with tiny flowers anbd it has 5 peices! i am so happy. we also bought food for two wekes. i bought count chocola cereal, hamburgar helper, butterball turkeys, pepperoni, bread, i cant beleive its not butter, and even more! ive never spent so much money on food, we also bought a new bed set and it is so beautiful. here;s a link to a picture it was on sale at jc penney! http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=0&CatID=032692&Grptyp=SIZ&ItemId=0c2ff39

isnt it beautoiful. ray is so pleased. i am the hapiest woman in lakeview trailer park. even hapier than that skank winifred marshall. if shes lookin rto bone ray, she better keep her skank eyes shut he hates her. she has beetter luck bonin that nasty skank trailer slut man person Jim Stuckey the trailer janitor park man. i hate winifred that nasty girl. she can rot in hell and die. she stole my spoon colektion and i will never forget it. i will never forgive winifred marshall. DIE TRAILER TRASH HO!

sorry, got caried away,
anyway, love and jesus's best wishes to all of you married couples, and may the antichrists of this world (*cough*) winifred marshall (*cough*) find jesus's love and become beter people over night.
love and hope and kisses from the girl next door,

Bessie Jean Taylor-Gizzard
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
love from Ray Taylor-Gizzard to.

I forgot to tell you how the wedinng went. it was fabulus. my gator was the ring bearer. he was good except he tries to bite ray's hand off when he grabs the ring. my wedding gown was teal with teal trimm and teal laceys. it was beautious. i cant wait to get married again. it was fantastick. ohhh lordy, the rumpy pumpy was awesome. we jus pumped away. and i hope we was protekted cuz them babys are hard too take care of. tata for now
Bessie Jean

Dear Diary,

T0oday i got home from my honeymon in Texas. we borrowd one of them recrational vehikles from Ray's momma,a nd we went cross country to texas. It was the best vakation of my intire life. Ray and me made sweet sweaty jiggy all night long evry nite for the entire month we went to texas. The first week we stayed with Ray's ex-step sister in law's cousin. Her name is Susan Johnson, and we git along relly great. She ownsa gator farm on the outskirts of Dallas, and her gators dont have names on account of there are 500 of them, but i named some when she wasnt looking. My favy gator i call Lil' Simkins because he is a runt gator, and when he was litttle he ate a golf ball, and they never found it in his gator chocolate. Oh, me and Ray were having a little afternoon delight when Susan came to the RV for lunch, and walked in on us pumping sweaty iron on the RV table. we didnt tell Ray's mom. The rest of the month we spent at random towns and places, we even went to the county fair, and i bought a homeage pie. It was amish i think, cuz this humdinger who sold it to me had a beard. Anyway, i will post pictures when i get them back from walmart.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Bessie Jean

Well Diary,
I decided to go bak to scool. i needed to get my g.ed. cause i wanted to be a cashier at the new walmart. they sed i had to have a hite scool diplohma to gets a good job. i only gots to go ther for 60 daiyes. that was wen i droped out for my hite scool sweathart davie. man i miss him. he was so nice to my alligator. well i will tell u how it gos wen i rigt agan. the first day was cool. i lernt how to right my elphabit. here it gos. abcdefghikjlimniopqurestuvwxynz. big emprofment. talk to u later

Bessie Jean

god bless the viktims. i will send blud and money

Dear Diary,
Yuo will not belive wher Ray took me to today. He bowut us to tikits for a plane to Mishigain. It was more then i couldeve imagined. He spint $100 on plane tikits!! Now, thats a good wedding presint. We went to Shorline Spektakular. It was a blast! They has line dancing over ther. We dances, and dances all nite long! It was very romantic. The plane ride bak home was scarey. we almost died. the plane ran out of gas whiel we was in the air. we went zoom-zoomin down towats the ground. but, we landed in a field, that was right across the streit from my trailor park. we grabbed my bags adn wen t home. it was romantic. my favvey part was when we was we was dancin.

Lord bless the viktims of the horribel akcident in calfirney. where da hurricanes was.

Bessie J. T.

Well, these are my pictures. I will post after the wedding. Love and God Bless, and may Jesus pretect the Katrina viktims. Bessie J.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is teh church. It's called St. Bill's Baptist Church of Lakeview Trailer Park. I don't know who Bill was, but i guess he though he was saintley. If you tink the outside is nice, you should see the inside.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is my wedding gown, I am afraid that I cannot send pictures of my wedding, becuz i don't have enough money for a photographer, but I put the dress on anyway, and did my hair, as you can see, the color of teal is my favy! Our weding is on Tuesday, September 6. I will send a picture of the church to.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is a picture of my ex-hubby at the Labor Day Party at my trailer 2 yeers ago. He also had fake teeth. It's a tradition to wear them Billy Bob fake teeth, cuz it's reel fun to look at.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

Winifred at the Labor Day Party, that was yesterday. She hosted it at Ted's Pub, and those are fake teeth she's wearing, don't ask me wy. As you can see, she looks like a spoon collektion stealer person doesn't she?
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

Oh, in my last wirtin, i fergot to say its m y birfday in 15 days! I am goin to be 40th birfday! I am goin to ahve a NASCAR birfay party! Ray and i are goin to watch a tape of race of NASCARS on my party, an i even invited Winifred Marshall.. She dint diserve to be invited, but she is anyway. It's going to be a blow out bash. I am going to have a cake too, not only a choclate cake, but minyture choclate cupcakes with tiny racecars on top. an they're edible to! were also having balons and evry kind of boone's farm there is in the store. I really like the red ones, cuz they remind me of the race car i like most. the one mister earnhart drives round the trak. I am so exsited. Oh, i almost fergot, Ray is goin to bring out the ladder and decorate my whole trailer in crape paper, and he even bought them chinese lanterns for the awning and the screen room. I want a new couch cover fer my birfday, cus Bill done threw up gator bits on my new one, and the whole sofa smells like digested dog. (Bill ate Mrs. Fergus' little lap dog, Trojan. He was a nasty lil kritter. He smelled like cat pes.)

May all the viktims of hooricane Katrina be with Jesus. I hope there souls are safe.

Love and God Bless,
Bessie J.

Today I foun a ring in Walmart for Ray. He suggested in on the last post, an I thinck it's perty. It is gold and has a faux dymond in the center. I adore it so very much. I ased him tooday and I sed, "Ray, I love you with all of my soul. This ring is the bond of our lives, will you merry me?" An he sed, "Yes, Bessie Jean Taylor, I will be your bonded soul. I will merry you.!" I am so happy, I am pickin' out my wedding gown soon, and the bridesmaid dresses are goin to be teal and olive. I am so exsited! Night nigh, yall!

Love and Hope and Faith to all. My bess wishes to all viktems of hoorican Katrina! May your souls be entakt!

Love,

Bessie Jean
God Bless America...

Well,
I haven't done posted an blogger tingmagigg, cuz i bin busy. I have gotted real close to my boyfriend Ray. We have made jiggy 9 times since the last time I posted sumthin. I am so happy. I thinks he is the one. I have been plannin on proposing to him. But I havent found the right ring machine yet. I am nervouse that he will think I cheaped out on him with a cheap ring. So I have to get a good one. That's about it, there is nothing new in my life besides that. I will write soon.

God Bless Ya!
Bessie Jean

I was lookin up way to feed Bill, because the fish in the river cross the two-track are gettin in short supply. I guess I'll feed him somethin else.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is my most beloved spoon, from Tennesee, it was the most expensive to!
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is a picture of me before I was fat, cheese nips are my faverite food.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is that sleezy skank Winifred Marshall's trailer, she don't got a nice place like me and Bill do, her house is faling apart.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is my trailer, rite across the two-track from the river, but we kin't swim there, its poluted.
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is a shot of my entire Trailer Park, Lakeview Trailer Park. It's a reely nice place!
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

This is my boyfriend Ray, and my baby boy Gator Bill...
Bessie's Photo Collecktion

August of 2005
Bessie's Photo Collecktion is now ready for your viewing pleasirs!!!

Dearest Diary,
Well, today was the day that turned my whole life around. I got a second job delivering the newspapy! I deliver to over 35 people, and make a hunk o' money. I make about 1 hunnred and 67 dollers. WOW! That means I can afford to replace the Martha Stewart sheets that my ex-hubby soiled. I can't wait until I make enough to buy a bigger trailor! Just thinking about all of this makes me want to jump up and down! That's just about it. I'll see ya soon!!

Love and God Bless,
Bessie J.

That #@&% Winifred just came over and said "I's sorry Bessie on the recent "misplacement" of your wonderfull spoon collektion, I hope it gets back to you!" I knows she did it. I knows it! That low-life woman better count her blessings that I don't Mud-Wrassle her. Sleezy bitch.

Dear Diary,
Today would have to be the werst day in my whoole life! Ya know that spoon collektion that I was telling you about? Well, it was a'stolen!! Of all the valuable things in my house, the spoons were takin. And I knows it was my neighbor, Winifred Marshall. She has a gumpy foot and I knows she was just a'hankerin to get her greasy, snot-filled hands on my babies! Now let me tell you a story of how I knows it was her...
Way back down the time trail, when I received the spoon that changed my life, Winnie came over to play and spent half an hours gaukin at my new spoon. when I saw her looking at my new spoon, I could see the jealousy flames a'burnin in her eyes. So's, I never let her come over again.

Well, now that I let that out, I will leave you to ponder some more reasons to accuse Winnie. Night Night

Bessie J

Let the world bless us all (Ezept Winifred, that dirty bitch!)

Well dear diary,
Today is my first day writin with you a'by my side. Well today would have to be a great day! I went a'mudd wrasslin and i won aginst a really strong 150 pound lassy. Ain't that great! Well I thought youd be a interested in my sex life. Well, today i made it with a hot city slicker with a tight butt. I swears, he has to be the skinniest yet. Weighing in at 348 pounds, this honey is so myne!Well, its time to be a'wrappin it up, i seen a peice of doggy chocolate that needs to be picking up.

later alligaitor
Bessie Jean